1 Advent Amy Phillips Sermon, November 30, 2025
Have you ever thought about your earliest memories? The ones that go way back to early childhood. We tend to remember very little before the age of 7, and researchers theorize that this may have to do with brain and language development and even cultural experiences. And why do we have memories of certain things and not others?
One of my earliest memories – I can only remember 1 or 2 that are earlier – was being at the laundromat with my father. I’m not sure if my mother was there. I was small, maybe 4 years old, and my father lifted me up and sat me down on one of the washing machines. Maybe so I could watch him putting clothes in the machine beside me, maybe so he could keep track of me.
The machine I was sitting on was at the end of a row of machines and was next to a wall, and on the wall, close to me, was one of those old change machines that you’d put a dollar bill in and pull down a handle to get coins for the machines. Just because it was there, I reached over, pulled the handle and to my utter delight, and the surprise of my father, out came 10 dimes. He had not put a dollar in the coin machine and, in my recollection, there was no one else around.
This sudden wealth was mine, by my way of thinking, and my father agreed – with one caveat. In a loving but serious way he gave me a brief, clear, and developmentally-appropriate lesson on pledging – he must have said something to the effect that when we have money, we give some of it to the church, and that by doing this, it helps the church help people. He also said that, as members of a church, we try to give 10% of our money to the church. So, 10% of my sudden wealth would be one of those dimes -- a dime he suggested I give to the church. You can see that this was also a mini lecture on tithing, but the point he was making was that we pledge some portion of our money to the church.
I remember feeling kind of disappointed, and maybe a bit dubious, but this was my wonderful, all-knowing father so I guess the dime went into the offering plate. I have no memory of that. SO -- one of my earliest memories was a lesson on pledging.
As I was preparing to speak this morning, and I knew I wanted to tell that story (especially since Jamie asked me to preach on pledging), that memory made me wonder – what exactly WAS the lesson that took root in me from that experience? And how has it continued to grease the wheels of my giving habits? So here are some of my personal beliefs about pledging that may be grounded in that experience:
Firstly – Pledging is a BIG DEAL. The fact that my lesson on pledging came so early in life, from a significant person in my life, and at such a mundane location as a laundromat, signaled to me that this was an important life lesson.
We could maybe question whether giving a 4-year-old a lecture on pledging at that moment was really necessary, but the message stuck with me. I sensed that it wasn’t just something I was expected to do, but that there was something inherently GOOD about doing it.
Secondly – there’s an EMOTIONAL HURDLE that has to be overcome in order to pledge. I didn’t want to give up that dime. I had EARNED that money by pulling on that handle and it was my money.
To this day I have to push back against the feelings of resistance to giving away MY money. I have to push back against the worries about my financial situation, against my concerns about how much I can really afford to give to the church, or any other charity. And I never feel like I’ve given enough, and I don’t give enough. But being in the habit of pledging –since age 4 – makes overcoming the emotional hurdles much easier.
And in the church, pledging isn’t just a habit it’s actually a ritual especially at this time of year, when we do an ingathering of our pledge cards. In the book “The Power or Ritual” by Casper ter Kool, the author talks about how “ritual embues an action with meaning.” Making our pledge giving, either once or throughout the year, a type of ritual can add more joy to our lives. Each time I write out my pledge check, I think of my father and what this money is supporting, and about all of you. I fold the check in half and put it in the plate when I arrive at church. This little ritual gives me joy and reinforces the meaning of the pledge.
Finally, pledging is a tangible manifestation of our CARE FOR OTHERS. My father didn’t talk about how my 10 cents would help support the minister’s salary, or keep the church lights on, or go towards a new dishwasher for the church kitchen (although we all know that pledging is necessary for those things). He was telling me that giving some portion of our money to the church actually helps other people.
Of course, as time has gone by, I’ve also realized--and especially through membership in this congregation--that pledging isn’t just about money – it’s also about committing our time and talents to our community of faith.
What would we do if we didn’t have people to give freely of their time and abilities to replace light bulbs, get the organ repaired, do the gardening, provide food on Sundays, be on the vestry, install a bike rack, clean the altar linens, put up Christmas decorations, feed us on Sundays, keep track of our bank accounts, get window insulation installed, provide transportation, do children’s chapel, lead the choir, figure out why the lights go out when we plug in the coffee pot, and on and on.
When we each give our time, talents, and money to St. Stephen’s, we are all creating and nurturing what the New Testament calls koinonia – a community of people sharing our goods and abilities with each other, contributing what we have to those in need, deepening our spiritual lives through prayer and worship, and strengthening our relationship with each other and with God.
But I want to return to the topic of financial pledging.
A few years back, three sociologists from the University of Notre Dame in northern Indiana, Christian Smith, Michael Emerson and Patricia Snell, published a book entitled, Passing the Plate, Why American Christians Don’t Give Away More Money. In the book they reported that:
Only 9.4% of Christians give 10% or more of their money to the church they attend;
Most church-attending Christians in the U.S. donate only 2-3% of their income to the church they attend and to other charities each year; and
22% of Christians give nothing in any given year.
These authors found that the primary reasons why people don’t give have to do with the powerful pull of consumerism, suspicions about waste and mismanagement by church administrators, clergy hesitation to ask for money, churches communicating vague expectations about giving, and failure of congregants to perceive needs outside their own circles.
Fortunately, these reasons aren’t reflected in the attitudes of those of us here at St. Stephen’s. A couple of Sundays ago, I asked some of you during coffee hour what pledging means to you. Your answers revolved around 4 themes, all of which reflect that concept of koinonia – a community of fellowship, participation, and giving.
+ The first theme reflected in the answers is that pledging ensures the existence of St. Stephen’s and the continuation of the outward-facing ministries we care about, whether it’s providing a place for the ashes of people we don’t know in the memorial garden, or pride activities, or Jamie and John’s numerous services to people in the community such as funerals, weddings, or hospital and home visits. One person described pledging like the loaves and fishes -- God takes it and expands it beyond us.
+ Some individuals talked about the fact that pledging ensures the enrichment and ongoing existence of our communal and spiritual life together. Sunday and Wednesday worship and special services, listening to James’ wonderful music, chili feeds and pancake suppers, annual meetings, and choir practice – all in this wonderful building. One person said that pledging “allows us to meet in a location we like.” Another person underscored the importance of this place by describing St. Stephen’s as a “pillar of my life.”
+ Several individuals talked about pledging as a form of gratitude – giving back some small portion of what God gives to us. One person said that pledging was a “gesture of thanksgiving for the gazillion ways my life is blessed.”
+ And finally, several people referenced pledging as a commitment – it’s a kind of goal we set that holds us accountable for supporting the things and people we care about. It helps us embrace the spiritual discipline of giving. One person said he pledges because “God created us to be a covenant people – to make a pledge, a promise, and stick to it.”
I, personally, am so grateful to be in koinonia, in this special community, with people who are generous with their time, talents, and money. Just as I assume my father was hoping to do, all of YOU encourage my own generosity and help me grow as a person committed to the way of love.
Today is the beginning of a new church year. It is the first Sunday in Advent, the season when we anticipate and prepare for the coming of Jesus. May we all use this season of anticipation to pledge our time, talent, and money in thanks for God’s greatest gift to us and in preparation for a church year filled with joy, fellowship, and service.
Let us pray:
Gracious and generous God,
Creator and Giver of all that is good,
We thank you for our many blessings.
We acknowledge that all that we have is from you.
We offer you thanks and praise for the beauty of the earth,
Our work, our family, our loved ones,
Our congregation of St. Stephen’s,
And all the gifts we have been given. AMEN.
