Letter from St. Stephen's Vestry regarding same-sex marriage rites in the Diocese of North Dakota

Dear St. Stephen’s Community,

Following is the September 24 letter from the St. Stephen’s Vestry to Bishop Michael Smith regarding same-sex marriage rites in the Episcopal Diocese of North Dakota, followed by Bishop Smith’s response as of today (October 1).

Your continued prayers and support on this issue are requested.

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Letter from the St. Stephen’s Vestry:

 September 24, 2015

Re: Same Gender Marriage Liturgy in the Diocese of North Dakota

Dear Bishop Smith:

At its General Convention in Salt Lake City this past summer, as you know, the Episcopal Church adopted Resolution A054, which states in pertinent part:

                        Bishops exercising ecclesiastical authority or, where appropriate,

                        ecclesiastical supervision, will make provisions for all couples

                        asking to be married in this Church to have access to these.

We are aware that you have consulted with some priests within the Diocese, soliciting their view on the matter as you decide how you will “make provision” for same sex couples in our Diocese to exchange marriage vows within the context of our church’s liturgy. As such marriages may take place beginning on the first Sunday of Advent, November 29, 2015, and because this is an issue of paramount importance to gay and lesbian couples within our congregations, we respectfully ask that you share your initial thoughts on the matter of “making provision” prior to Diocesan Convention in Bismarck on October 16-17, 2015, and invite feedback and comment from delegates at that Convention before making a final decision.

We also ask that you give strong consideration to a process by which priests in the Diocese of North Dakota who are willing to do so are allowed to perform marriage rites for same sex couples in their home parish. We feel strongly that a couple that is resident in North Dakota should be allowed to marry in the Diocese of North Dakota, and not be required to travel to Minnesota, South Dakota, or other states. We are aware that some bishops in the Episcopal Church who are in good conscience opposed to same-sex marriages are referring gay and lesbian couples within their dioceses to neighboring dioceses, often in neighboring states. This quote from a letter sent recently by St. Andrew’s Church in Albany to the Bishop of Albany captures our concern about such an approach:

Compelling priests who support the Convention’s action to deny

                        their parishioners access to the approved marriage rites goes

                        beyond merely coercing them to say “no” in order to be obedient

                        to their Bishop. It puts them at odds with the Holy Spirit moving

                        within them, doing damage to their own souls. It makes them into

                        liars – falsely representing their beliefs to those couples, their

                        parishes, and to the world outside to whom they are charged with

                        carrying Christ’s message. It makes them complicit with a

                        policy that they know to be destructive in the lives of their

                        parishioners. It erodes the bonds of trust necessary if a

                        pastor is to be able to minister to the entirety of their

                        community.

Some have suggested that this issue can be addressed via the provisions of Delegated Episcopal Oversight (DEPO). This is not an option we support because it would create division among congregations in our Diocese – some being DEPO-designated congregations and others not. At St. Stephen’s we value our longstanding relationship to other congregations within the Diocese and see any solution which brands some congregations as “different” from others in this way as damaging to those relationships and to the Diocese as a whole.

We recognize and respect your strong view on this matter, as reflected in your participation in the Communion Partners Salt Lake City Statement issued on July 2, 2015. At the same time, we ask you to recognize that a large majority within The Episcopal Church do not share those views.

We ask that you “make provision” for marriage of same sex couples within the Diocese of North Dakota in a manner which honors and respects their devotion to each other and our church, and makes known to them that they are loved and welcomed by many within our own Diocese.

This letter is sent on behalf of the undersigned and the other members of the vestry of St. Stephen's: Bryan Gelinske, Sandy Kenz, Annette Morrow, and Gin Templeton.

Sincerely,

Leo F.J. Wilking

Senior Warden

Catherine McMullen

Junior Warden

cc: All Priests and Priests-in-Charge, Diocese of North Dakota

      All Senior Wardens, Diocese of North Dakota

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Response from Bishop Smith:

October 1, 2015

Dear Father Jamie, Leo, Catherine, and the St. Stephen’s Vestry:

I received your thoughtful, respectful letter on “Same Gender Marriage Liturgy in the Diocese of North Dakota” this week. I notice you copied the priests and senior wardens of the diocese, so I am attaching your letter and adding the deacons and other lay leaders to keep them in the loop.

You can expect a fuller treatment of some of the issues you raise in the November issue of The Sheaf. In this week before the pre-convention meetings, however, let me make three observations for the good of our order:

1. My conversations have been with the priests in charge on these matters because they alone have the responsibility and authority to make decisions on which marriages to solemnize or not.

2. Same sex marriage is not currently on the agenda for the upcoming diocesan convention. If you or anyone else wants to bring any issue for discussion at convention, our diocesan canons state that a resolution must be submitted sixty days in advance, unless two-thirds of the delegates want to take up a matter.

3. The level of controversy and division over this issue is reflected in the mail I am receiving. It is running about 50% in support of my position and 50% against.

Sincerely,

+Michael